Yesterday an email landed in my inbox. It looked suspiciously like spam, the kind of copywriting designed to trick you into clicking.
In some ways it’s a clever piece of writing. It has a go at putting itself into the customers’ shoes. It tries to find a sympathetic way of talking about how hard it is when you don’t have enough money, then offers a way to solve your problems. Here it is…
It is disgusting when you have to say “no” to your kid asking you for a new bike, additional pocket money or funds for a present or refuse your dear spouse who wishes to take some course or travel to see distant relatives.
You love them but have to be harsh because you have a very limited budget.
You can change the whole situation for good and earn a pleasant sum of cash.
All you need is your head and a wish to make more green bucks for fun! Find out every detail following the link:
But it doesn’t quite get it right. Why not?
Chances are if you’re in the business of sending dodgy emails that unleash viruses then you’ve probably not hired a professional copywriter.
You’ve probably written the copy yourself, maybe with a bit of help from Google translation. But a computer can’t replace a human when it comes to writing. And the language in this email is a real give away.
You’ve got the love the expression ‘green bucks’. So near and yet so far. Additional pocket money instead of extra pocket money. And it’s not disgusting, is it? It’s disappointing. And as for your dear spouse, I wonder which language uses that phrase. (We could have a whole sub plot on why your dear spouse wants to get away from you so badly. And why you’re so keen to oblige.)
We hope if you get this email you won’t click on it. Check the language first, because if it doesn’t sound genuine, it probably isn’t.